Happy New Year Jokes

Happy New Year is the best time for enjoyment. Here are the some best joke that would make your friends happy. This is the best time to share some joke with your family members

Happy New Year Jokes 2018

New Years Eve One Liners A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

 

My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

 

New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.

 

My New Years resolution is 1080p I’m getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night.

 

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

 

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang! I have only one resolution.

 

To rediscover the difference between wants and needs.

 

May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!

 

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other

 

New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.

What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!

What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.

What’s the problem with jogging on New Years Eve? The ice falls out of your drinks!

What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security

New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous

Knock Knock! Whos there? Mary and Abby! Mary and Abby who? Mary christmas and a Abby new year.

BEST HAPPY NEW YEAR JOKES OF 2018

These are some best joke we have collected from different sources for our visitors. Share this amazing happy new year jokes through whatsapp messages or facebook status

  • On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.
    ‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.
    ‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.
    ‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.
  • Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, ‘I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?’
    ‘Aha, you’ll know tonight,’ answered Max smiling broadly.
    At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: ‘The meaning of dreams’.
  • John, at a New Year’s party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke.
    “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says.
    “I’m in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.”
    “Phase one?” asks David.
    “Yeah,” laughs John, “I’ve quit buying.”
  • “Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother’s mother-in-law. “Now I can’t make up my mind whether he’s my dad or my father-in- law,” says my brother, “or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece.”
  • Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
    It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Every time’
    WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever’
    Happy New Year 2017
  • Boy to a Girl :
    “You Are Like A COIN”
    Girl: hmmm, wow realy..??Boy: No,no actualy i Want To Say ,
    Theepay day mounh waliye.
    Happy New Year.
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